When I was younger, I felt differently about things now. I’ve seen things I used to do, that I didn’t understand at the time. Which grows with maturity. I see it as light as day now: working, staying busy and not being lazy. We can try, but will spin our wheels eventually. Just saying.
Now, before having kids, I was careless. I had a good heart, I was just blinded you could say. I had depression, frustrations, and several head injuries already.
Having kids made me have more understanding. Not all the way. Their was still more to learn. Still is more to learn.
Not Everything Is Black And White
This is the grey. Grateful Dead saw it. Many others have wrote songs or books, to prove their point. My sexuality, career, are examples.
Not everyone or anything is perfect. It’s the struggle. It’s work. It’s a timeless thing that every single human has to endure on this planet.
Now I Know
This is one thing I will agree on. That I’ve been forced to learn. My mistakes haven’t been as bad as others (I watch the news and if I need to make a list of way worst mistakes others have made, I will).
Now I see it through other people. I look at the younger generation and know what it’s like to think how they think (they are lazy). I definitely don’t want to be mean to get them off their ass, I would rather lead by example.
I’m not perfect. One song I’ve listened to is Run by The Foo Fighters. It’s very comical video is awesome. Before I was very depressed at my mistakes. I’m still having to deal with them. I’m really trying this time. I want what others want: a peaceful life.
I know that I’m growing older and still learning. That what my mom was telling me when I was younger, was true. It saddens me but my brother has received a a 25 year sentence (as much as a murderer mind you). He will do 12 years, for drugs and evading arrest, the rest on parole. I tried to warn him. Maybe now we know. Knowing is half the war in seeing through a tiny hole of someone else’s war. Or knowing is half the battle. A shit hole. A sorry ass shit hole.