It is a known fact that absentee fathers, in most cases, are prone to give their kids a life of poverty and hardships. In this busy world we live in providing and being present are two different perspectives. Modern times have given us abundance of resources to educate parents, as well as little ones, for the most important reason: your kid’s progress.
First and foremost, I’m a proud father of one, Raiden Luke Frysinger. He is presently 9 years old, and in third grade. He’s practiced karate, and the art of imagination.
My personal experience with this issue, is one that is almost impeccable to tell. From day 1, I was not ready, I did not have all of my life together. I was also dealing with a past mistake I consistently had to pay for, which will go without mentioning (for now). My son will.
Luckily I was able to obtain a good job, by my father, that helped clean up my life a bit. I worked 12 hour days, 4 nights a week for a year and half, until I received a good pay advance. From then, I had beautiful days in spending time with “mi numero uno”.
This is a real personal experience that I don’t share with too many people, but I will share, because it is important in my life’s progress. While at a friend’s house in the backyard for a barbecue, a beehive suddenly fell to the ground while my ex-wife was holding our son. Without a second thought , heroic like, I pulled them inside to protect him and her; fearing any allergic reaction scenarios. Trying to dispose of the beehive, and being in a panic, my son felt the tension and reached for me; to see if I was alright. One of two things happened. It might sound small, but I had a weird occurrence in what I call, an imprint, as they do exist. The other, was this exact situation that changed my life. I grew more proud. It is my opinion that any man is capable of this whether he is the biological father or not.
Providing doesn’t substitute the physical bond you have with your young, that has to start from day 1. This could potentially disrupt your child’s growth, depending on the particular child. To many parents it is very hurtful to have your kid resent you because you missed out on an important event, sometimes for no good reason.
This should, and already present a balance, maybe an epiphany, to be stern, to have more patience. This can also be compared to unconditional love.
Because we all know it’s hard to distinguish if they are using their emotions to feed you a guilt trip. This is already natural for your kid.
Just imagine for a second our soldiers that sacrifice their time away from home not being able to deal with this struggle. Imagine that one day he/she is going to grow up, having to learn some things on their own, when even the dreaded/celebrated day they move out of the house. Did their teachers/elders provide them with the tools they need to survive? Of course they did. Did their parents? Hopefully. For money doesn’t always suffice a stable living situation, or overcome an obstacle. If you are a parent, you should kinda understand this struggle.
Not everybody has had their father or mother in their life by tragedy, or unfortunately have chosen not to be a part or committed suicide. In some instances this might be an excuse to some that have learned to adapt. Where others have failed to yield in strength, many have overcome.
(For instance this story below when the tables are turned. Think about it. Money, a good life, turned in an instant, but the bond was broken and some sort of resentment took over. The father was not able to overcome. And if I was in his shoes, as tough as he was in Vietnam, was not able to deal with his son’s untimely death. I wouldn’t know what the purpose of life would be in that situation. I couldn’t imagine life without my son. I hope this story has an impact. I’m glad that I had the privilege of knowing these two.)
Go Team FincKe
Howard and James’ ’68 Chevy
Their is a true story of a kid that grew up in Coppell, TX named James Fincke. In his teen years, he worked at a B.M.X shop repairing bicycle spokes at just 15 years old. Funny how he got all the local kids on a B.M.X trend around the town. His parents ran an auto interior shop, that mostly repaired Porsche seating, because their dealership did not have their own repair shop. In which the Fincke family took advantage of. He would always ride his Powerlite bike that had custom flamed pads he made with his parent’s interior products.
Years passed and time moved on. Kids gave up on their dreams of becoming professional B.M.X riders. James relied on the closest source of income, working back with his dad Howard, after a few failed career paths.
One night, on Christmas Day, he was driving with his girlfriend on the way to return a movie. His car stalled while pulling a u-turn, and ended up in the middle of the road. Not a few moments later his car was struck by an SUV at high-speed.
James’ insides had given up on him, but not before trying to pull his girlfriend out of the car that caught fire. Both did not survive.
The heartbreaking events were far too hard to bear for Howard. He went through complete devastation. His business started failing and their was no try, you could see it in his eyes.
Howard finally gave in to underlining health issues and was no doubt to a broken heart. Howard passed away, just 6 years later… Christmas Day, 2005. The world lost a good father, also a Vietnam Veteran, and the best son, also NON-Professional Greatest B.M.X Rider, ever. You are still missed.
Roxanne and James
Oh Yeah Fathers
Yes, kids need their father… for discipline, to protect, to look up to, to create with, teach and learn patience from. They need outlets that maybe one partner doesn’t perceive, or recognize. Kids need fatherly love, a father’s sense of humor. Young ones need a father’s story, rooted to their dad’s life experiences. They need their pride and confidence to say “That’s my dad.” Oh Yes, Kids Need Their Fathers…and Fathers Need Their Kids.
Author’s note: This is to all the parents and kiddos dealing with divorce. Please don’t ever put the innocent ones in the middle. This teaches them resentment. Unconditional love is a beautiful thing.
The author is still thankfully alive and sober in Irving, TX. Without his sunshine.