I have been away from my writing for too long. Almost to the point I didn’t feel the need of writing anymore. Most of the time it was monetary. I stayed consistent and found a job I worked at with the story I wrote below. Many odd jobs in between.
I went through three cars (all of which broke down i.e The White Stallion) a camera, many liquor bottles, people literally shoving drugs in my face (To some, they say, “I don’t have a no in my body” To them I say… yes I do) and other various things that were stolen by people I was trying to help to turn their lives around.
All that didn’t matter to me, on which a particular night, after driving back home from getting thrown in jail by my ex once again. I looked back at a small car seat without a small boy not in it… On that night I didn’t want to live anymore.
A small part of me died on the inside…. Once again.
Many liquor bottles later, he came to see me. He did not want to leave me. I told him, “It will be good for you. Your mom promises that we will still see each other.”
Many Promises And Many Liquor Bottles Later….
Two years have passed and I have carried the burdens of others. Two years have passed without seeing him. I have put down the drink, and I have learned for myself that it doesn’t help, making myself a cliché. The one thing I thought I learned from the Winter Of 2008.
Many Blackouts Later….
I have finally seen some happiness. I have finally seen that, that thinking was wrong. I have finally envisioned the things I created (most on purpose) that I am still a part of his life.
Don’t tell me I am not trying. Still some try in me.
(By the way, I’m on my third year sober from any hard drugs having only slipped up twice. April of 2014, and January of this year)